Too many people see networking events as being a “work me” type environment and feel that they have to somehow be in a work persona rather than a more natural persona, according to Nick Bramley, client relationship director for World Wide Group.
“It is perpetuated by too many people trying to be in ‘sell’ mode when it is exactly the opposite requirement,” he says. “But if people don’t understand the ‘rules’ they are likely to copy others—and most are not good, natural networkers worth copying.”
Bramley will be presenting “Top 10 Tips for Relaxed Networking” during MPI’s European Meetings & Events Conference (EMEC), 22-25 February in Istanbul.
In advance of EMEC, we caught up with him to discuss tips for introverts attending networking events, creating inclusive networking environments and what attendees can expect from his EMEC session.
Why is it detrimental that we often quit being ourselves when networking?
In terms of being detrimental, there are perhaps two outcomes. The first is that it is hard to not be yourself for any length of time, so this can be stressful on a personal level. On a professional level, are you really representing yourself and your business to the best of your ability if you are constantly checking whether you meet some type of mythical stereotype of expectation? The answer is a firm no!
Can you share a tip for introverts who want to be more successful/at ease when networking?
I have met, worked with and coached many introverts who would ordinarily find a networking event very stressful, or even a no-go area for them. The best couple of things I share is that at least 85% of the people in the room are likely to be on a scale somewhere between nervous, apprehensive or even downright scared—and that is a good thing. One “fear” people have, although it never actually materialises in reality, is a fear of being left on your own, or everyone being paired up and in clusters.
The best pieces of advice are to get there early, as a room that is already full is much more intimidating than one that fills up around you. Then get used to approaching people who are solo (usually just arriving or have just finished a conversation elsewhere) and ask, “Do you mind if I join you?” If they are one of the 85% who are also apprehensive, they will NEVER say “no thanks, I would rather stand on my own,” as indeed nobody on their own ever really would. Then practice listening not talking…
Can you share a tip for how a meeting planner can create a more productive/inclusive networking environment at an event?
Room shape and room dynamics are really important. There has to be an ability for people to “flow” around the event for it to work well. Pinch points, tight areas, too many people for the room size all mean that people can feel hemmed in and can get “stuck” with the same people all event—which networking is not about. Where is the food, what type of food, how can we eat it and still talk to each other are also big considerations. Is a stand-up event preferable, and if so, will the food work—finger buffet, etc.? Are there plenty of places to stand a drink whilst eating and talking or are you expected to juggle.
If sitting down for something more “formal,” make sure there are place names (if possible) and you give some thought to table dynamics. If it is a free-for-all seating event, sitting where you want, this is less effective and often too random.
For any type of event, it is imperative that someone takes control of setting out the “rules of engagement.” Announce that as part of the networking around the event, “We encourage people to move around, meet new people, share contact info if that works, and that it is likely that 5-10 minutes with each person or group would be sufficient for that early engagement, which you can follow up later.” That type of announcement lets EVERYONE know that this is a networking session as opposed to a gathering.
What do you hope EMEC attendees will take away from your session?
Practical tips on two sides of the industry. Event organisers understanding more about creating great networking sessions, but on a personal level, delegates to better understand the rules of engagement and how to be themselves, whilst still being effective (and relaxed).
